Many years ago, I typed the words; “I gone and ‘dunnit now” as I embarked on littering the cyber-ether with my automotive ramblings on this very blog site. 

Well… I gone and ‘dunnit again ...but this time with something new and exciting! 

I’m opening my own vintage and classic BMW service shop right here in Western Pennsylvania!

I’ve been focused and devoted to these neat little cars for over 35 years, and this is the culmination of a dream, a lot of sweat, experience, knowledge, and a desire keep these vehicles on the road for others to cherish and enjoy. Because I truly believe they are greater than the sum of their parts.

I’ve been entrusted to build multi-million dollar cars in my professional career, but BMWs from the 60s and 70s will always be home to my heart, and they will be my sole focus. 

I’m currently in the process of locating suitable work / shop space since I am rapidly exceeding the capacity of my home shop. I’ll be posting updates here from time to time, as well as on facebook. 

So you might be asking “what do you do, exactly?”

Sympathetic and full mechanical restorations

Repairs, Maintenance, Tuning, Performance Modifications

Reviving long dormant vehicles

Buyer / Seller Services

Project Management of full scale restorations including:

Organizing and expediting large and small client projects

Liaison services between owners and service providers

Parts research

Technical assistance for professionals and owners

On-Site services available throughout the USA.

Now accepting large and small projects from across the United States: Please email me and we can discuss your project and transportation options.

email: zenwrenchpaul@gmail.com

phone: (412) 585 2067

Tools "To Go"

It's been a little bit of forever since I remembered that this blog is lonely and sad and feeling neglected. Since the holidays are among us, I thought I'd shake off the remaining funk of 2018 (it's been quite a year…trust me on this) and get back in to it.

I'm still thinking about road trips…. in fact, it's often the only thing I think about. Before I discuss the ephemeral magic of long distance old car hauls (a topic upon which I could yammer endlessly) I thought it best to address a common question often asked by members of my BMW 2002 tribe:

"I'm going to drive 700 miles to that awesome event I hear about every year. What should I include in my emergency road trip kit?" 

Woah! Easy there, friends! BABY STEPS! 

Start with just focusing on what kind of implements you want to have with you on those daily 20-40 mile drives, because let's face it: even the most well-maintained and prepared old car can push up daisies and make you look like a sentimental dork (aka: sucker) on the side of the highway at a moment's notice. Luckily you can assemble your own "German Swiss Army Knife" of 2002 tools on a budget and keep them contained in something smaller than a 1977 Sampsonite-sized suitcase or Grand Dad's 300lb rusty tool box. (You know the one - it also has plumbing tools and rusty vise-grips that 'sorta' work, if you use a second set of vise grips to keep them tight)  After all, a 2002 can be nearly completely disassembled and rebuilt with about 4 wrenches and a couple hose clamps. This is a good use for your duplicate and cheap tools, while the good stuff stays in your garage or home. 

I've often said that filling the trunk of a classic old car with piles of greasy and heavy obscure tools and parts steals all the romance from the driving experience. If you've ever heaved your car in to a fun fast twistie and heard the contents of the trunk shift or chatter across the quarter panel and paint… you know what I mean. It's a complete bummer. 

Herein, I hope to offer my advice on the what and how to maintain a reasonable daily travel tool kit, while refraining from filling your car with items that sound like two garbage trucks screwing each other in your trunk. And please: resist the urge to put that giant yet awesome 300pc SAE / standard sized tool kit in the car. You don't need it. 

IT'S HOT AND SEXY BUT RESIST THE URGE:

Storage:

Find a suitable container to hold your tools and repair bits. I prefer soft shaving kit bags or plastic boxes often left over from computer or power tool equipment. Sears and similar retailers sell all kinds of containers that do the job. When all else fails, a plastic tackle box works well, too…though I've found in recent years that this can be a little overkill. I stick with containers no larger than the average shoe box. Smaller if I can help it. Maybe 1/2 shoe box sized. Also - I'm a big fan of cheap clear plastic compartment boxes. Those are good for holding fasteners, bulbs, electrical connectors, and razor blades. I put one of those boxes in my "to go" tool kits. Roughly 3" x 5" x 1" in size.

Sizes:

If you're new to working on your 2002, you'll find yourself test fitting every imaginable sized wrench on every nut and bolt, until you find the one that fits. This is maddening and so completely avoidable. On the side of the interstate, this wastes time and adds to the very REAL danger of the roadside fix. 

Bury that 15mm wrench. You will never need it. 

You only need a few sizes to fix just about anything on a 2002:

6mm

7mm

8mm

10mm

11mm

12mm

13mm

17mm

19mm

I carry wrenches in the above sizes and a neat, self contained 1/4" drive socket/ratchet set. For the bigger 17mm and 19mm stuff, I get 3/8" sockets and a 1/4" to 3/8" adapter, so that I don't have to carry any larger ratchets. With a 1/4" ratchet, you can usually get things tight enough to get you home or to your destination or to a parts store. Remember: We're talking about daily drive distances. For longer road trips, there are other items you'll want on hand. 

Other hand tools I carry:

vise grips and / or adjustable wrench

razor blades

(good for stripping wire, in a pinch - smaller than pliers)

fine (220 grit?)sand paper (for cleaning ignition parts - cap/rotor/points/sparkplugs)

assorted coarse metric fasteners (6mm/8mm/10mm nuts, bolts, washers)

6mm allen head "hex bit" (for the few allen bolts you may encounter, such as axles and sway bar brackets)

2" and 6" extensions for the 1/4" drive ratchet

feeler gauge set (for plug gap and ignition points)

electrical tape

old bakelite spark plug ends (I harvest these every time I replace plug wires - simply unscrew)

zip ties (not so good for holding up broken exhausts…but people do it…sigh)

assorted fuses

flat and phillips screwdrivers

ignition points

ignition condenser

ignition rotor

spare fan belt

extra 4mm screw for ignition points / condenser (because, you know… gravity)

6-10" of medium gauge wire

male and female crimp style electrical connectors (2-4 of each)

test light

spark plug socket (the factory 2002 one takes up less room and doesn't require a 3/8" ratchet or extensions… That's why I love those things! Easily sourced from junk yards or BMW

Efficient. Small. Dialed in. The Essentials:

My thinking is: "If I can't fix it with these things….I ain't gonna fix it on the side of the road anyway."

Now… how do you keep all this "fun in a bag" stuff from moving around in your trunk? Soft bungee cords, wedging it in to the rear shock tower gap, hiding it under the rear seat…. all of those are viable options. I keep a spare injection pump belt in the rear seat side pocket of my tii… it's good for confusing rear passengers. 

Yesterday was bitchin'!

As we passed the “Welcome to Colorado” sign, I must have yelled “We made it to fucking COLORADO!” about four times. Minutes afterward, I saw my first tumbleweed in decades. I think I have an unnatural fascination with those things. We plowed right in to one, and I thought; “I hope it sticks in the grill so we can take a snapshot of it later.

Our travels brought us from the corn fields of central Iowa to a place that I can only think of as “cow-centric”. I mean cows.....EVERYWHERE. If you didn't see them...you smelled them. Rolling the final 80 miles in to Denver, we get our first glimpse of the Rockies through the thick but mellow rain clouds off to our West. I'm desperately trying to enjoy the impending altitude changes, while squelching my fears about fuel mixtures at 8,000 feet.

The car has been running like a dream. I'm trying to repress my natural inclination to think, that we'll pay for this good fortune later.

Maybe we already have... but it isn't the car's problem, it's mine.

We arrived at an old friends' home in town, and what I thought was simple road weariness, has apparently evolved in to full blown sinus and upper respiratory shittiness. Luckily I was able to get a script for some antibiotics this morning, in hopes my nasal rebellion doesn't get worse...and eventually even goes away. We're taking today as our leisurely drive day. Soaking up great conversation until we hit the road again around 10:30am.

I've spent the last two weeks obsessing over everything mechanical on the car, that might cause us problems...the entire time neglecting my own mental health and sleep patterns. It caught up to me after two 14 hour drive days. My immune system decided to go tits up. Poor Gary will have to endure my whining, sniffling bullshit for at least another day. 

For posterity…here's a photo of Gary catching some ZZzzzs in Nebraska. 

I can't hear you anymore

Well... it's been boring. No catastrophic failures. No suspicious noises (from the car at least). And no speeding tickets.

Topics of road trip conversation have included:

Female rabbits going on “Bunny benders” (don't ask)

Those poor bastards burdened with “adulthood”

“Hey! There's an RV / Mobile Home MUSEUM in Illinois/Indiana! Let's hit that on the way back!”

and...

“How much of the corn plant is really used in producing ethanol?” If you saw the volume of corn fields that we've seen, you'd understand the urgency of this query.

As an added bonus: We passed a gigantic manufacturing facility for Barilla pasta. Wayyy cooler than Reagan's birthplace.

In short; We are in the middle of Iowa.

We're staying with an old grade school friend of mine (a guy I've known about 40 years), and his frightfully gifted family. The brain power in this building is a little intimidating. Even his young children are on some higher plane. I'm totally digging it. His kids created an “F Bomb Parking Only” banner. That's the first thing we saw as we rolled in to their driveway. Dinner was exceptional. Fresh beef, fresh corn (as if you had to ask), potatoes, and jalapeno sausage. Fresh baked cookies for dessert.

This road trip gig is pretty alright. 

I've decided that Indiana is my least favorite state for driving, so far. Even the rest areas are like mid 1960s YMCA bath houses. 

I've had a headache since 5:30am, thanks in no small part, to an infernal piece of hood trim, that sounds like a bottle rocket strapped to my temple at any speed above 45 mph. We were at it for 13 hours today. 

Duct tape helps.

The waiting is the hardest part...

So it's friday night. We hit the road on Sunday morning. I'm hoping to be on the road as the sun rises. That's the most spiritually connected time, to be behind the wheel of a classic car. I can't explain it...it's clean and cool...and as light gradually breaks, the engine takes on its familiar rhythm at cooler temperatures. That's where its happiest.

I've gathered together way too many parts, tools, fluids, and gear, for this trip. I've always said that loading an old car up with 200lbs of greasy junk, ruins the romance of a great road trip... but this is 5600+ miles we're talking about. And even though I know every nut and bolt on the F Bomb, I don't want to leave some small piece behind, that might save me from a day or two of repair time/waiting for parts, while out on the highway. I've got everything from a used clutch disk to a ball joint splitter in my rubbermaid totes. Gear oil, brake fluid, coolant, even a spare radiator. My biggest concerns are high temperatures, fuel mixture in the mountains, and poor quality fuel. She needs to run on 93, with the current factory timing settings. Anything less and I'll have to dial back the ignition timing.

Tomorrow I'm spending a few hours with the car on a lift at work, laying my eyeballs on every nut and bolt under the car. Checking fluids one last time, and touching every bit of fuel line, to check for weak spots. Nearly everything at risk, has already been replaced about 5 years ago... but I'll feel better knowing I've looked at it again. Fresh ignition points, re-set the timing, and it's GO time. Of course I have mundane tasks ahead, like laundry, buying ice and water, and spending some cherished time with my father, before I head to bed on that final eveining. I know I won't be able to sleep a wink... but that's OK.

Our goal is to stay with old friends in Ames Iowa, on the first day. Slogging across Ohio and through Chicago's potential traffic snags. This is the part of the drive I want to get through as quickly as possible. From there, it's off to Denver, where more old friends await us. After Denver, we'll take a leisurely drive to Los Gatos spanning three days. The route from Denver to California is unknown. We'll make a decision eventually. For those of you in to data, here's the stats on the car:

1972 BMW 2002tii.

10:1 compression

stock engine, bottom end rebuilt last winter

4 speed transmission

3.64:1 differential, freshly re-sealed

new, genuine BMW radiator

electric aux 12” cooling fan plus stock 400mm fan

Bilstein HD shocks

all new bushings, ball joints

stainless exhaust

no radio / stereo

…I mean it *HAS* a radio, but no speakers. I take comfort in knowing the shy and feeble little green light will slowly come on, if I rotate the dial on the left. That's all I really need. 

Edit: Oh! And here's a photo of the current console, complete with the gifted speaker grill featuring a karmic road trip gift, from a great local 2002er, hanging from the knob!

All other elements of the car remain stock and "as original", with the exception of Recaro E21 sport seats.

4800 rpm all day...every day...for 12 days. 

No Filter

"Yes, I wash my car"

     I watched their jaw drop as I said it. Believe it or not, I really DO like the thing to be clean.


     My stewardship of this car revolves around the basic premise that I respect it. That means respecting the mechanical components as well as the history it has accumulated over the last 44 years, since it was lovingly crafted by some (and I'm going out on a limb here) hungover Bavarians.

     I don't lay dirty or heavy tools or other objects on the paint (or what passes for paint) and I really don't like seeing people rest beer cans on it…although I refuse to be uptight about it. It's a car to be saved and enjoyed by everyone. I like seeing people smile.

     So, in preparation for next week's drive, I have washed it. With real car soap. And I even cleaned the wheels…by hand…with a paint brush. And I put stuff on the rubber and vinyl to give it a little sheen. And the clock even works.

BEHOLD! 

Observe how the water glistens off the thing, like dew on a young lily petal! Like a newborn fawn or baby bunny, waking up after a summer dawn shower!

Yeah. It's just like that.